I honestly can't believe I'm at a point where I am creating the thing I needed for so many years, so I think a little background is useful, perhaps when considering me as a coach.
I can't count the number of times colleagues, and friends have said to me over the years, "but everyone's brain is different, why are you so focused on labelling?" I completely agree, everyone's brain is different, we all have different experiences and ways of seeing the world that shape who we are, however, there are some recoginsed neurobiological differences that are distinct in an ADHD or Autistic brain.
(I'll speak about these two as these are my own diagnoses - not to exclude the rest of the ND(neurodiverse) family, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, tourette syndrome, OCD, sensory processing disorder and on.)
Whilst it is true that when you've met one person with Autism, you've only met one person with Autism, and the same goes for ADHD, there are groupings of difficulties that give us a commonality. The rise in diagnosis and discussion online has brought many people comfort in understanding and new ways to manage their own struggles.
I grew up doing pretty well in school but inside was a writhing mess of anxiety - social misunderstandings that are normal for teenagers would cause me to breakdown. GCSE's made me lose chunks of hair with worry for my future. I was one of the classic 'weird' kids, into dressing differently, reading anything 'out of the ordinary' and finally found my tribe in music. I've always been pretty creative but my desire for perfectionism prevented me from performing - I absolutely adored watching my friends thrive musically.
Fast forward to university and at least I was able to hyper focus on history which had been a special interest of mine from days of castle exporation as a kid. But university had an expectation of you to share your thoughts in class - something that used to keep me up at night with crippling anxiety; as well as a host of deadlines. This was tricky but thanks to a group of history and music geeks, my tribe, I found comfort and just about scraped through.
What followed was a pretty spikey career, doing things for a while which were exciting and I felt good at... Until there was something more exciting. I was aware my friends were beginning to build careers and progress within a single industry whilst I was still bouncing around. Teaching held me longest and helping people became my absolute joy. The paperwork in teaching... not even worth discussing, I'd be here all day - and at this stage I'd started to identify as ND but my employers had no idea how to support me.
Why does any of this matter?
So many of the things I came up against in school, at university and in employment were down to the way my brain flows. Chasing dopamine, hyperfocusses, autistic burnout, emotional dsyregulation, rejection sentivity, I was told I was too much way too often and shrugged it off as being a difficult person.
Now I recognise my differences, I also see my strengths. I am open with my employer about exactly what I can and can't do and what I need support with in order to thrive. I am the same in my relationships, identifying sensitivities before they escalte and communicating honestly and openly and life has never been better.
I think coaching is a potential door to this for anyone. But I see it as especially important to those in the ND community who have found themselves being 'too much' for too long, because when you find your way, absolutely nobody will think that of you - you'll just have to shake the memory of the words yourself.
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